We all have them. We expect chicken to taste like chicken, we expect the doctor to act like a doctor, and we expect winter to bring cold, cool air. Those are called expectations. Pastors wives have expectations placed on them whether the expectations are right or wrong, good or bad, we have all them. But, what I have been learning a lot lately, is the expectations I place on myself are often the ones that weigh the most.
I am pretty good at shaking off the weight and pressure others place on me. But sometimes it’s hard not to shake my own. I am constantly trying to live my life in a state of growth. Becoming the best version of myself. Which can be a very wonky road if I don’t have a clear understanding of what that looks like. Who God says I am and who I think I am can be two very different things. Understanding who He is, can help me understand more of who He says I am, but thats a blog for another day.
I was recently given the imagery of us every morning, as soon as we get out of bed, laying our crowns at the feet of Jesus. It’s such a beautiful thing to imagine and actually live out. So often we unconsciously pick up our crowns as we get out of bed and wear all of the self expectations and facades we put on for the world and for ourselves. We struggle through our days trying to live up to the expectations of who we should or shouldn’t be.
I desire to live my life as a wife, mom, friend, pastor’s wife among other titles tearing down walls. Living outside of the box. Living my life, literally every morning using my real arms to grab my invisible crown and lay it down before my Savior. I love in the Peter Pan movie “Hook” when all of the lost boys were so hungry, that they pretended they had food on the table. They kept putting pretend bites of different foods in their mouths. To the point, they started to actually see food. The entire scene becomes this epic feast and food battle. That’s the kind of thing I am talking about. Let’s start moving, being, and pushing towards the unseen. So much so that we start believing. God has so much beauty and joy and gifts for you and me in our days to behold if we just get ourselves out of the way. If we could just lay down our expectations, and start living our lives uninhibited I think we could start living life fully.
Pastors wives, expectations will come. But we all must decide what we choose to pick up and what we choose to lay down.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor