I recently had a pastor's wife write in. She said some things to me, I am sure some of you can relate to, but no one wants/or will probably ever admit. I wasn't planning on sharing this, but I really felt the Lord prompt me, that other pastors' wives may be going through the same thing.
"No one posts about a husband/pastor that everyone loves, who's gifted by God in so many ways, but sits around the house all day watching movies until Sunday comes or until some one calls - and he decides to answer the phone this time. I've yet to see him read his Bible or pray at home. He's a very gifted speaker both in the pulpit and in counseling but at home, which is where he is most of the time, it's sitting by himself watching late night sports and movies and playing video games and then sleeping in."
I shared this with my husband, and he admitted this is a massive temptation. One of his biggest temptations in ministry the first time we planted, came from not having a daily schedule. Having so much free time before Sunday came. Not having a boss schedule the day, and hold him accountable. The enemy is tormenting pastors' in this area. You aren't doing enough. You aren't spending enough time with your family. You aren't loving the church good enough. Pastors' wives then start viewing their husbands as lazy, not walking in his calling. However, it isn't that pastors' love being lazy, they know doing nothing isn't good. But, they are in the rut of feeling comfortable doing nothing. The enemy likes church planters/pastors to coast. He doesn't want them to be "go getters." Take a look at any other self employed/entrepreneur. No entrepreneur could sleep in, and do nothing all day and get by. But, pastors' have the ability to do this, because their big days are on Sundays.
I can remember so many congregation members and staff asking me and Jim on several occasions, "What does Jim do during the week?" People know Sundays are huge. But, they want to know their pastor believes the other days are just as important. They want to know their pastor is living in his calling, furthering the kingdom of God every day of the week. Just think what might have happened, had I told them "He sits and watches tv all day, plays racket ball with friends, eats, and sleeps." They might have left and found a church where the pastor is actually spending his time wisely working.
The best thing for the pastor, would be to sit down with wise men in his life and confess it. Start scheduling his days and weeks out. He needs to be equipping the saint,s yes on Sunday, but throughout his week too. He should be serving the members of his church. He needs to be hanging out relationally with his staff members. He needs to be serving his community, like Jesus did. Pastor if you aren't intentional with your schedule and time management, you aren't being a good steward of what God has given you. I would dare say, if you have reached the a point in your life where you do nothing, and are no longer driven to do the things you should and need to do, you are burnt-out. You distract yourself because you don't want to think about all the things you should do, that you aren't doing.
Pastors' wives, pray for your husband. I can't put enough emphasis on praying for your spouses. I finally watched War Room two months ago! If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend watching it asap. The movie is about the power of prayer, and the importance of praying for one another. Last month, I decided to build a War Room (prayer closet) out of a random closet in my kitchen. It is small, there is only room for a chair. However, plenty of room to hang scripture and prayers.
Pray for the pastor, your husband. He needs it more than you know. If you are a pastor, confess your sins, schedule your days, and get accountability. Pastor and pastor's wife, you are doing great things. God has big plans for your ministry. Don't let the enemy lie to you and knock you out of the race for a few bad days of temptation.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor