Pastors, the church is not your bride. Pastors' wives, you are the bride to the pastor, not the church. You are the one Christ chose to be his helper. You are the one that made the covenant "till death to us part" with one another. All accolades, titles, and occupations aside, you chose each other to love and to hold. Christ calls the wife to lay down her life (submit) to her husband, and her husband (the pastor) to love his wife like himself and lay down his life like Christ loves and laid down His life for the church.
No, no. It didn't say lay down your life for the church. It told us women to submit and lay down our lives for our husband. And, husbands (pastors) to love and lay down their lives for their wife. You see, Christ already laid down His life for the church. The church is HIS BRIDE, not our bride.
We mess this up sometimes as leaders in ministry. We get hyper focused on doing life leading, running, and breathing church. It takes a majority of our time. We forget to rest, balance, and set boundaries in our lives. Before we know it, we are running on fumes, our relationship as husband and wife are unhealthy and bitter, and our life is all out of sorts.
(Read verse 20- the first sentence in the passage)
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies.
I think verse 20 in this passage is often looked over. We all get hung up on "women" submitting. But really God is asking the husband and wife to lay down their lives for each other and submit together out of reverence to Him. In leading a church, it is more about just being ministry partners. God called you to be husband and wife first and foremost. I get it. It's hard. I have been there. What happens when one spouse doesn't see things clearly? Doesn't see the burn out, the affair with ministry? I don't have the answer. I don't have your A + B = C answer. But I do know the redeemer. I would ask you this, if you find yourself here today.
1. Are you praying daily for your spouse?
2. Are you submitting to your spouse out of reverence to Christ?
side note: If we can't be disciplined to submit to the ones we love, or the people around us that we can physically see. Then, how can we possibly willingly submit to the God of the universe we haven't yet seen?
3. Have your boundaries, and sabbath (rest) been placed on the back burner?
Pastor and Pastor's Wife FIGHT for your marriage. You will never fully lead at the capacity God has for you if you don't get this right. You will never be able to fully love people and the church (HIS BRIDE) if you can't love each other, and love each other well.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor