I have been chewing on the phrase “hurt people, hurt people” a lot the past few weeks. It could not be more true when it comes to relationships, and marriage. We often hurt people when we ourselves are hurt. Speaking for myself, and my husband, when it comes to fighting. We fight to win. We fight with the eye of the tiger. But when it comes down to “why” we fight? Most of the time, when my husband hurts me I can pinpoint it to one of these reasons…
I have (intentioanlly/ accidentally) hurt him by my actions or words
He is believing a lie the enemy has told him
He has been hurt by someone/a circumstance
This is also true when I hurt him. A few weeks ago, we were in the ring again, duking it out, when my husband said something, I will never forget. He said, “You hurt me when you..” Surprised, I had no idea what I had done hurt him. However from my actions, the enemy was telling him lies. So out of his hurt, he was lashing out and in result causing fights. No his actions out of hurt, were and are not justified. But there was a reason for his actions towards me, and it was because he was hurt.
The enemy is sneaky. He loves to breed confusion, anger, hurt, bitterness, fear, and so on. Instead, of us seeing the big picture and extending grace and love when someone is hurt, we hurt back. Matthew 5:9 says, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. When someone is hurting us, most often our pride and flesh wants to jump in and hash it out. However, Christ calls us to die to ourselves and seek to make peace. This means, when someone is being hurtful, don’t seek revenge. But, seek to love and restore the relationship in the midst of chaos. Get to the root of the issue.
More times than not, there is a reason for someone being hurtful. Extend more grace and love. Pray for them and with them. Help bring peace to the situation, by not fighting with them, but understanding their point of view.
Above all LOVE THEM through it.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor