Somehow since women have an undeniable gift to sniff out like bloodhounds other women's' motives, by default we can sometimes get in the habit of not expecting the best from people. We can create all these different scenarios in our head about what said person meant by his/her words or actions. Resulting in us only seeing the worst in them.
Over the past years of church planting, there have been countless people my discernment has kicked in on. Unfortunately, I didn't use my discernment as the gift God had given me, but used it in a way to create all different scenarios in my head, ultimately spiraling into a sort of fear this person is going to ruin something or another. Whether that be, a particular woman is going to lure my husband into sin, the person singing on stage is doing it for show, or the guy trying to get on staff isn't who we think he is. The list goes on….
I love all the stories of Jesus with His disciples. There were numerous times, they lacked faith, were afraid, too tired, or doubtful. Then, there was Jesus with His unwavering grace, and understanding that we all have our days we mess up. Always saw the best in His disciples. He loved them with a love, that didn't waver. He knew Peter would deny Him, yet He told Peter that he would be the rock He built His church upon. He knew Judas would betray Him, yet He still washed His feet. Nathaniel, one of Jesus' disciples, his first interaction with Jesus was doubt. Yet, Jesus called him a man of integrity. Jesus always saw and called out the best in people, even though He knew their mess ups.
Frankly, I may not know said persons mess ups, other than the scenario I have created in my head. Or maybe I do know their mess ups. But love, grace, and seeing the best in them is far from what happens in me. A part of me much rather pray they find a new church home, than me having to worry something will happen. Or better yet, have to give them grace and see the best in them. It's hard. But, I don't think God gave us discernment for us to lose control of our minds and spiral our thoughts about people. I also don't think discernment was meant to put fear in us.
Just maybe, instead of doubting them, we should pray for the person we are discerning. Just maybe, like Jesus, we should speak truth and call out the good we see in them. Maybe, we should get closer to them and build a relationship with them, rather avoid them in fear they are going to hurt us or those around us. 90% of the time my discernment has been spot on. I am not saying to ignore your discernment. But what I am saying, is to use your gift like God intended you to use it. Don't use it to run in fear.
People mess up. There will be times we are hurt by someone's words or actions. Just like we mess up. I would hate to be on the other end of someone's discernment and for them to avoid me, or be afraid of me, because of one mistake. We have got to start seeing the best in people. Even when the situation or scenario in our head is pointing to doubt. We need to see and call out what is good.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor