Isn't it funny how we can't see past who we are now? We have all these doubts-- I don't know that I could ever be a good speaker. I don't know that it will ever come natural being a people person on Sunday mornings. I don't know if reconciliation will ever happen. The fears and doubts of who we are as a pastor's wife can go on and on. However, time has a funny way of changing things. When I look back I can see how far I have come. Being stretched, and grown in all new ways, learning from past circumstances and seasons. But, I look at the now and doubt. Why?
I think, because we can see the past, we can see improvement. However, looking ahead we can't see past who we are today. So that is where doubt comes in. We know who we want to be, but will we ever arrive where we want? We still find discontentment in who we are now. And, a part of the discontent, I think is healthy, because it always keeps us in a growing state. However, being discontent in who we are can also hinder us from being who God has created us to be now, today.
Maybe there are a whole lot of characteristics, traits and growth I want now. But God is saying, "Just wait. I am teaching you now. You aren't quite ready for it. Its coming. Trust me." We find ourselves unsatisfied in this season with who we are. But, God has us where we are, and "who" we are for a reason. Maybe we should stop doubting growth will happen, because we can look back and see growth has taken place. Maybe we should be confident in who God created us to be, and how far we have come, and allow God to use us today.
It is easy to place expectations on others. Have you ever thought about the expectations you have placed on yourself pastor's wife? Not today, or tomorrow, or ever will we live up to who we expect ourselves to be. But, today we will live up to who God says we are to be. Let's start dropping the expectations, and find satisfaction and contentment in this season in who God says we are. So we may flourish and lead to our greatest.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor