Comparing ourselves to other women creeps up fast….and feeling judged and compared by others hits us equally as hard. When I started the church plant, I was just trying to find my footing as a pastor's wife, when I came to the realization I wasn't exactly your typical pastor's wife. Well, at least I wasn't the awesome, outgoing, people person I thought most pastors' wives were to be like. I didn't compare to others, and some of our team were willing to voice that to me as well. I compared myself, and was guilty as judged all at the same time. Double whammy, I know.
I didn't know what I was doing, or who I was to be yet in this new role. I was also unaware it was going to take growing and flourishing to finally walk confidently in the call. I think a lot of us, and the people around who count on us, think a magic wand is suddenly waved by God and bam we are made new and perfect to capture the role of pastor's wife. Maybe that happened for you. But I was still me, wondering what on earth God saw in me, and why he hadn't waved His wand over my head yet.
As I have found over the years of being a mother, we mothers/parents do things differently. We read all these books, get wisdom from others we admire, and try our best to replicate. But at the end of the day, we do what works best for us and our children. No matter how hard we try to parent like others, or have kids just like their kids, we just...don't. I think the same goes for us pastors' wives. We read the books, we do our homework, go to the conferences, try to be like the women we admire…but when it is all said and done. I am me, and the comparison never lives up to who I am trying to be.
We are different than each other pastor's wife. From the gifts, talents, personality, characteristics, and so on. To the church I am pastor's wife at, to the church you are pastor's wife at. To the seasons we are walking through. We are different. And comparing ourselves to other women, or feeling the pressure of others judging and comparing us, isn't fair to us. We need to realize, we are doing the best we can where we are at. God may be calling you somewhere He isn't calling me, and that's ok. My life, and my walk may look differently than yours, but that doesn't make either of us wrong. God is just teaching me something different in this season than He might be you.
Pastors' wives, give yourselves more grace. Give each other even more grace. None of us have it all figured out. Let's cheer each other along no matter if we make mistakes or not. We are all on this journey doing the best we can, trying to grow and lean into Him through it all. Pray for one another, link arms through this call as pastor's wife. We need each other. We need encouragement, not judgement and comparison. We need to hold out a whole lot of grace for one another and fight for one another. We need to know, God has placed us exactly where we are in all the different seasons we are in, and He is equipping us all exactly where we are.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor