Uniting, Empowering, Watering, Equipping, and Growing

Finally giving women permission not to be perfect. To not be hindered anymore by the expectations they place on themselves, and others place on them to have already arrived at full growth and potential. But to give them back freedom to grow and flourish in every season into who God is creating them to be. To know, they are already exactly where they should be...

"God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."

Philippians 1:6 (The Message)

The influence of this movement started from the realization of past experiences struggling with not feeling good enough in the role as pastor's wife. As I have heard many other women's stories, from pastors' wives, women in ministry, mothers, and so on, I have come to know this is not uncommon or unheard of. Locally, and globally women are feeling less than, overwhelmed, and unequipped. The weight of their own, and peoples expectations have weighed on them long enough.

Kayla Cantwell- Pastor's Wife- Houston TX

Born into ministry- my dad a pastor, my grandfather a pastor-extended family in music ministry. Guilty by association? Umm a little bit. I mainly grew up singing and attending more church services than I can count, but I always knew I was destined for this life. I was truly called. It was & still is my heartbeat. Little did I know that calling would lead me into meeting my husband at a young age & stepping into full time ministry as a pastor's wife. I've served alongside of him for almost 8 yrs now. Flourishing in this role hasn't come easy. My husband is 6 yrs older than me & for the longest time I really let that get to me. We are a younger couple, but I will always be younger no matter how the yrs go by. Will people accept that? Be ok with that? Accept me? Take me serious? I had those questions & fears for a long time. As I'm growing, what I'm learning is no matter where I'm at, what stage I'm at, what role I'm in- putting my confidence in God as the one who called me- instead of myself, abilities or insecurities makes all the difference. Also, continuing to surround myself with likeminded women, seasoned women & encouraging women & ministries is helping me grow. We desperately need safe outlets & friendships as pastors wives! I pray about them. I pray for them. For me, I've found flourishing in this role starts right in the place I am. Staff pastor's wife or lead pastor's wife. Putting the pressure of the title aside & blooming wherever He's put me this season. Recognizing my amazing privilege & leading like Jesus right there. Good, tough, happy, sad, confusing... Right there! Keeping in mind always, If He thinks I can do it, rest assured- I can & I will!

Claire Mclean- Youth Pastor- Auckland New Zealand

If we could stand at the other side of our life, we would see how important, how vital, how necessary it is that we flourish where we are today. Today is important. It is part of the great adventure of our life. It prepares us for tomorrow but it has impact and influence in our now. Today matters.

Kim Walker Smith, lead singer of Jesus Culture, says “In the future you will walk out in the fruit of your faithfulness.”

I learned this by becoming a mother. I had just completed a preaching course and watched as the men on the course got to go and live the dream. They were preaching in churches and having doors open before them. But I was pregnant. I felt like a whale. I couldn’t sit through a sermon without having to go pee, let alone be able to give one! I felt crushed.

It was at that moment that I felt the hope and grace-filled nudge of God to embrace His plan for me, as a woman. As a mother. That God knew my dreams and that He intentionally made me a woman, a wife and a mother. Peace nurtured my soul and my dreaming heart. God had my life in His hands. He knew the times and seasons. He would take care of the future. My part in the story was to flourish in my today. My today, that day, was as a pregnant mother to be. I have two beautiful children now who bring me incredible joy and who have made me who I am today. Being a mother was a very integral part of God shaping my character and connecting me to people that I minister with.

Elise Sirois- Nashville TN

I went through a period of time this year where I focused more on the promises God has given me, instead of waiting patiently and being faithful in the season He has me. I knew that the Lord was putting a call on my life to be in full time ministry, but I hadn't gotten any specific direction on what that would look like. I became very excited once I heard that call. However, this made me less than passionate about my job. It seemed to be going nowhere. So I let the call become my focus instead of Jesus. Then the Lord showed me that in order for me to have joy in my job and flourish where He has called me, I have to completely focus my eyes on him and allow His Spirit to lead my every step, everyday. When my focus is on him, and him alone, everything else just falls into place. For me, what it has meant to flourish into where God has called me is to completely lock eyes with him and trust that he has me.

Krysta Doerksen-Saskatoon, SK Canada

At my husband's interview for his current job, I was asked if I had any concerns. I said that my greatest fear was that I might come to resent his job, and all the demands and sacrifices that go with it. We didn't have children yet, so I became busy along with him and it was great! Then we started a family and I kept trying to keep up with all those other things, thinking that if I didn't, I wouldn't be carrying my share of the load. It took a couple of years and a lot of tears, but I realized that the best way I could help my husband's ministry was to focus on our family at home, freeing him up by knowing things were taken care of at home. My fear is no longer in resenting the job. I know what its demands are now. My fear now is children that resent the church because of how much they feel it robbed them of their parents' time and energy. I want them to see that church is a good place that we should look forward to going to, that it's a place we go to together. To me, flourishing means quality. It has meant saying 'no' to many church responsibilities and instead focusing on the little people he has placed under my own roof. Helping them to grow has grown and stretched me in more ways than I can imagine!

It is time to join together as women, and empower each other to grow and flourish again. We have been hindered long enough with the mindset we have to be perfect. It is time to let each other, wherever we are on the journey to learn, grow, and rough it out that we may be all God has created us to be, exactly where we are. To give more grace, love each other, encourage one another, and unite together by flourishing.

Megan Fuller- Chattanooga, TN

Three years ago the word flourish would have made me cringe. Associating myself with that word would have meant my life had to be all together. Success was the only option. I had to be perfect. THAT MEANT PRESSURE. And to be honest, my journey and ministry has been full of an inner struggle [deeper] than fear of “pressure”. I’ve battled with comparison, not feeling adequate enough, and just plain fearing failure. Sweet words meant nothing- it didn’t matter how much I was encouraged, and lifted up, it was all fleeting. Most days were full of selfish words [begging] for Jesus to deliver me into the next season in life. I just knew it would be easier. Anything would be better than this! Even [deeper] than that, under millions of layers of my story, I discovered those struggles & my sins drove me to seek confidence in myself- to worship myself!

This revelation has vastly changed my heart, and completely changed my purpose, ministry, and my relationship with the Lord. Because confessing those lies has helped me speak the gospel to myself and others in ways I never had. [It’s helped me see that flourishing doesn’t mean perfect- it may not even mean my version success. It’s helped me be PRESENT.] Because of this: I truly know that I’m okay with “failure”. I truly know the pressure is off. I truly know my confidence is in Christ, and I truly know that I am nothing without Him.

Ashlee Baker- Pastor's Wife- Oklahoma

I didn't come into the role of pastors wife with the best attitude. My husband and I started a church 10 years ago and I was not on board. I showed up, ran the nursery, and shook hands like a good pastor's wife. But outside of church I was awful. I didnt want this role, and I made sure my husband knew it. The cost of this was a failed church and a husband who felt like a failure. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit has done a huge work in my heart over the last 10 years. When we started Audacity almost 3 years ago, I knew this was what God was calling both of us to do. I decided I was going to flourish where I was. I was going to go all in. What a HUGE difference this has made in our lives. When you chose to flourish, you are choosing joy, you are choosing to live a life wide open to what God has in store for you. Not only that but my husband knows I truly believe in him. It gives him the freedom to fail. This is so huge in our marriage. He knows he can dream big and take risks and even fail, because no matter what I am behind him. My choosing to flourish where I am, has allowed him to flourish as well. He has the ability to grow into the role God has called him to. It's truly life changing. It's freedom.

Danielle Freed- Pastor's Wife-Noblesville Indiana

As a teenager, I felt called to full-time ministry, but I was fearful of answering that call, being a woman and not knowing how people around me would respond. I dodged the call until my Junior year of college when it became unavoidable. I was certain this was God's call on my life. While considering changing my major, I spoke with a wise mentor. He knew I was soon-to-be engaged to a soon-to-be pastor, and my calling would become my reality without changing my major. My mentor's assumptions were right as I entered the journey of full-time church ministry just a year later with my husband, John. John and I have served as co-laborers in every ministry we've embarked on in the last twelve years. We served as youth pastors for the first half of our journey and are currently in our fifth year of church planting. My call to ministry fits well within the role of pastor's wife. Having this call and answering it with my husband by my side isn't always daisies and roses, but it is exciting and rewarding with the privilege of having front row seats to witness life change, over and over again. Now, twelve years later, I'm pursuing more formal ministry training to allow our ministry together to continue to flourish, and we'll see how he flourishes as the pastor's husband!

Kristen Knowles- Student Ministries Pastor's Wife- La Verne California

My husband Justin and I recently moved back to our hometown in beautiful Southern California. We came from one of the largest churches in America. My husband took on a job at a new church. So with that came ...."where do I fit in" I love student ministries and have been serving in student ministries for over 12 years, but it wasn't on my heart to do it right now. Now that Justin was actually leading a team and not just on a team, I thought my role should be a different kind of support. I wanted to be there for him emotionally. He had never lead a team so I wanted to be supportive of him fully before jumping into leading a small group and taking on more responsibilities than I could handle. All I really wanted was community! Which finally brings me to my point of flourishing. I had the incredible opportunity to attend my first Leading & Loving It retreat in Las Vegas last November. I came back a changed woman and I felt so on fire to start something for our Pastors wives, which had been nonexistent for over seven years. So when I came home from the retreat, three of us met in a café and prayed and planned all of November, a few days in December, and majority of January to kick off our first hang out/dinner the last Friday in January. It was a huge success. We met over dinner and coffee at our home, sharing just a little bit about ourselves most of us didn't even know who each other were. Our goal is to believe that the life of a pastor wife has very unique joys and challenges. We wanted to support them and encourage each other in the midst of those. We wanted to help bring some community to our pastor's wives as well as equipping them with healthy ways to manage and support their husbands in ministry. I am so passionate about it and so excited to see God move this year through the community of women in our church.

Let's join together in this movement to empower each other to "Flourish Where You Are."

Thank you to all the women who have helped me along with this project.