Seriously, how often do we forget we are not fighting flesh and blood? I almost need to be reminded weekly. If I get in an argument with my husband (the pastor,) or he says something that hurts my feelings. I am so quick to think, "maybe you shouldn't be planting a church." Or, "I don't think when God called you to pastor, He wanted you to act like this." Oh how guilty am I on the other end of that too. I say hurtful things, or am quick to remind my husband who he is, who God called him to be, and who in this moment he isn't being.
As nicely as we can say it. As honest as we are being out of love to correct, and try to remind our husband of how he shouldn't be acting that way. We are without knowing it whispering lies in his ear. To tell our husband how he is lacking as a husband, a pastor, a father, whatever it may be, and lay expectations on him to be better, is wrong. Even though he may be better than that, we must realize it isn't our husband we are fighting. The enemy is out to destroy, and somehow your front door was left open to him. And though you may feel it is your responsibility to help guide him back to a "holy man of God" whom never makes mistakes, it isn't.
Sure you can encourage him out of love. There isn't anything wrong with encouragement. However, we women are real quick with our words, and if we aren't careful we could be whispering the enemy's lies of defeat, and destruction in our husband's ears. We are human, and we know we are imperfect, flawed, messed up creatures. What our husbands (the pastors) don't need is us reminding them of how flawed they are, but reminding them of how loved they are regardless of their silliness at times.
I know women, I am there with ya. I want to be God's helper and help things along when they are moving too slow for me. If I can tell him he is acting crazy and he needs to get right with Jesus because that will speed the process along, then by all means. But this isn't who God called us to be as wife, and pastor's wife. We need to pray for our spouse, kick the enemy out, and lock the front door.
Love unconditionally even when it is hard. Pray, Pray PRAY for your spouse and your marriage. And never ever stop encouraging!
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor