Dear Future Church Planter's Wife..

Dear Future Church Planter's Wife,

Drop the expectations now. Don't put any expectations on who you should or shouldn't be. God knew what He was doing when He chose you to be a pastor's wife. Trust Him and dream big. Start preparing now, for who you want to be when the time comes. Dive deep in your word, search Him in prayer, and constantly be growing and allowing Christ to shape your heart and mind to be the pastor's wife He desires you to be.

The church will sometimes place their expectations on you. They may expect you to be like another pastor's wife they know, or they may expect your role at the church to look a certain way. They may have plenty of opinions. You are the pastor's wife to one, the pastor. Walk confidently and humbly loving him, being his help mate, and loving the church. Be who God created you to be in Christ, and serve where you want to, and politely say no when you want to. 

A time will come when people leave. People come and people go. But there will be a time when those you least expect will leave too. Friends will leave, those whom you trust will turn away. Like seasons end and seasons start, trust God through it.  

There is purpose through your pain. Hurt will come. Words will be said. You will make mistakes. Tough decisions will have to be made. Trust Jesus, and let him use your pain to grow you, and shape you into who He is refining you to be. Sometimes we have to rough out tough seasons that will make us so much better, or that may prepare us for the next season of life. 

There isn't a manual for being a pastor's wife. Jesus, the bible, and prayer are the best manuals we have. Grip your three manuals with everything you have.


Come with a servant's heart. Christ came not to lead, but to serve. This position may lift you into a leader's position however the greatest leader's of all serve the people. You wash their feet. You love the church well. You give your all to this, and don't allow the enemy to twist your position from humility into pride. 

Love your husband (pastor.) You are called to be his biggest fan. You are his ear, and his encouragement when there is no other. You have a front row seat to see it all, upfront and behind the scenes. Love him well, and don't place expectations on him either. Every season of church planting isn't easy. There will be tough seasons, and you need each other. 

There will be times you feel alone. There will be times you feel alone in this role as a pastor's wife. I am begging you now to seek a mentor. Have a woman in your life you can be real with, voice your frustrations to, and be encouraged by. You need her. Also pray now that God will start preparing women for every season of this journey to be a friend to you. You need women loving on you. You need women you can let go of "stuff" to. You need women praying and standing with you.



xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor