Getting discouraged is a part of life, but it doesn't have to be. The bible speaks clearly to being steadfast, immovable, and counting it all joy when we go through many trials. In other words, shift your perspective to committed joy, long suffering is a part of life. As pastors' wives there are many things that are often discouraging. Below are the five top disheartening things that come at the wife of a pastor.
1. Hurtful words said by others.
I cannot count how many times I have heard a pastor's wife discouraged by what people have said about her husband, her, or the ministry in which they have been called to. We pastors' wives need a shift of perspective in this area. When you are steadfast and immovable like the bible says, then you have tough skin. You need to start letting things roll of your shoulders. Have patience in this life, people aren't perfect, and not everyone is going to like you, your husband, and the ministry you have. If you stay discouraged, this seed will turn into a root of bitterness.
When you are leading a ministry, and living a life dedicated to the work of the Lord, it can be discouraging when finances just aren't meeting your needs. Money is a huge weight of stress we often carry on our shoulders. I can remember in the first two years of planting a church, we had no income at all other than the support we raised. We relied on Jesus every month to remind our supporters and for the money to come in. It was a fun season, and God provided every month. The third year of church planting, the supporting ended and we started receiving a paycheck from the church, and somehow stopped relying on God to provide because we counted on a paycheck every month. When we stopped relying on Him, and started relying on man, money became a burden to us. We no longer found joy in that season of finances. If finances are stressful to you, stop relying on you and start relying on Him. Matthew 6:25-27 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
3. Feeling unequipped.
The enemy has a sneaky way of getting into women's thoughts to make them feel unequipped, unvalued, purposeless, and not good enough. Women, God designed you. He designed every cell in you, your heart, your mind, your personality, your outward appearance and he said, "It is good." God also has a plan for your life. He isn't going to appoint you pastor's wife without equipping you. The disciples weren't qualified, or good enough for their positions, Jesus called them to. Jesus knew something different. He knew that God had a calling on their life, and that He would equip them exactly where He called them. Shift your perspective, and know you were created the way God wants you. Keep flourishing and growing in who you are in Christ.
Pastors' wives often feel alone. While that isn't true because they are surrounded by people, it is true that they feel lonely in their calling. Only pastors' wives "get" pastors' wives. It can be discouraging not having women that understand your call to speak into your life often. The enemy loves to make you feel alone and discouraged. When you are discouraged he knows you are defeated, and where there is defeat there is paralysis. We need a shift of perspective in this area. We are not alone. God has put certain women in our lives that may not be pastors' wives, but He can use those women to speak directly to us. No call doesn't mean no Jesus. Jesus is the same Jesus in a congregation member, that He is in us. We can also seek out pastors' wives, and mentors to speak into us, relate to, encourage, and pray for us. These women don't often fall into our laps, we need to be intentional about finding these women and confidantes.
Marriage has its seasons. Some seasons are great, some are good, some are hard, some seasons are busy, some are sad, some are bad, and so on. We aren't perfect, and neither is our spouse. Pair imperfect, with leading a church and the stress' it comes with can equal a tough combination. We need to remember with a huge call, comes a huge target. We are leading people, and pointing them to Christ. The enemy hates us! One way he can knock us out of the race is through breaking off the oneness in Christ we have with our spouse. Our marriages are a display of Christ and the church. Not only that, but when we are a team with our spouse, God can accomplish amazing things. The enemy wants to rip the pastor and the pastor's wife apart. If he accomplishes this, then he can destroy their ministry and call too. Shift your perspective, drop the expectations and give your spouse a whole lot more grace. Love each other in every season and cling to one another.
Be encouraged pastors' wives. Be steadfast, immovable, unshakable in this life, and count it all a joy.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor