A beautiful yet dangerous prayer to be constantly praying in your life is, to search me God and know my heart. While you read Psalm 139:23, it sounds to me like you want God to know all of you, and to search and root out things in you, that you hide deep down. However, God already knows every part of you and me. He knows the good, the bad, the ugly, the hidden, and all of the secrets.
To pray for God to search you, and know you is to pray to God to show you and reveal to you what is and isn't of Him. This prayer doesn't get an immediate result unfortunately. This can be a process, of God revealing hard parts of your life to you. Characteristics that you have grown so accustomed to, that you do subconsciously. Sin that has snuck into your heart, and rooted itself. It can be an ugly, tough process of uprooting, and weeding, and pruning things out. This doesn't feel good.
However, if you pray this prayer with meaning and you stick through this process with purpose. God will create in you a new. God is making things new, and if you allow Him to, He will take the old and ugly out of your heart and replace it with beauty.
Pastors' wives, no matter how much you think you have things together, or not. We all have things in our lives we have forgotten are there, that are choking out the beauty in us. Non of us are without sin. Sure, we aren't bound by sin, but this doesn't mean we aren't without sin. We always need to be in a state of growing, and pruning.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor