First, you and your husband need to be on the same page when it comes to church planting. If you venture out on this journey uneven then you will fall flat and fail. I do not believe God calls the wife without the husband and vice versa. However, He may prompt one heart sooner than the spouses heart. But there needs to be a lot of praying and fasting for God's will for where He desires you and your husband to be as far as church planting. And you need to be together in this. Church planting is one of the greatest and hardest jobs in the entire world! It takes a whole lot of on your face in front of Jesus all the time.
Second, church planting is hard without children, so if you have children it will be even harder. There will be a whole lot more sacrifice on your end being a mother. Your attention and heart will be with your child, but church planting is like having a baby too. It needs a WHOLE lot of attention the first year or two, and you have to be willing to go through a busy season of your husband giving more time to church than he can your family. And sometimes there will be slower seasons, when the church is sustaining its self like when a baby starts to walk. Then you can give more time to family. This is hard to understand now, but you will when you are in it. When you become a church planter, God gives you the ability and strength to see people more valuable than your own wants. You begin to give more of yourself than you could ever imagine. And with that it can be so difficult. Our flesh is selfish. There were seasons I felt like my husband was cheating on me with the church. Because he spent more time with it than me, and talked more about it than anything else. When you live church planting, you start breathing it. There is a fine line there, and we have to become aware of our life and set boundaries. Just because we are in full time ministry doesn't mean full time Jesus. Never lose sight of keeping Jesus center of your marriage and ministry. He holds everything together.
Third, as far as gifts and traits. You need to be fluid, flexible, and steadfast. Things aren't always going to look like planned. The moment you step out in this journey the enemy is going to come to steal, kill, and destroy. Hold tight to the vision, and mission God has given you and your husband for this plant. You need to get a core group around you of people who believe in the mission and start having core group meetings uniting and praying for the area in which you are planting. You HAVE to have a servant's heart. Jesus didn't come only to lead but to wash the feet of his disciples. You have to love like Jesus loved, and have a humble heart. Be willing to get hurt. People are going to come, friends, staff, ect and sometimes they let us down and leave the church. But you have to chose to love like Jesus loved. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Give yourself and your husband a whole lot of grace. There isn't a manual. There is a ton of trial and error. And sometimes we mess up. But God is gracious, and we learn through it all. And every church plant, church, pastor, and pastor's wife is going to look different and that's ok. You both need to flourish where you are and seek God to keep molding and shaping you into who He desires you to be. Remember, seasons come and seasons go. God has purpose in it, and if you allow Him to use the good and the bad, the joys and the pains then He will create in you anew beautiful pastor's wife. Be willing to embrace where you are. Walk in humility and confidence knowing where God has called you, He has equipped you.
A pastor once asked my husband before we moved to plant. "When you going to quit?" My husband said "never!" And the pastor said, "Good! Because that's what it's going to take!"
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor