Raising pastors' kids in an entire journey of itself. You hear and read articles about how 90% of pk's will need counseling, or how this % walks away from the church, and so on. Which leaves us as pastors' and parents taking any advice from anywhere we can get it with not much hope. Wanting to defy the odds of having the typical wild pastor's kids we try to do things differently. But what is different?
Do we treat our children differently because they aren't the average kid? Are we sensitive to their needs because they are pastors' kids and sometimes get lost in the craziness of full time ministry? What happens that pk's have such crazy statistics? Have we even read any of the other statistics for all the regular kids that aren't pk's?
I do dare say there is a difference between pk's and non pk's. However, God never separated the scripture Proverbs 22: 6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it. He didn't say, train up the regular kids, and drill hard the pk's. He just said train them up. Could it be us as pastors' and parents' have read so many pk blogs, and taken too much advice in this area that we aren't relying on what God says about our children anymore.
Could it be that 90% of any child will need counseling when they are an adult? Could it be the % that walks away from church is a collective total of young adults that are pk's and non pk's? So let's say there is a huge difference statistic wise. I would dare ask a pastor, how he is shepherding, guiding, leading, and praying for his children. Our kids don't need church baggage. They don't need to experience our burnt out thoughts in tough seasons. They aren't our smoke hole, and were never meant to be. Little ears listen to everything.
We must be more careful of what we say. Our children's little hearts, ears, and minds need to be protected. Fill them with what is good. Express to them the importance of the bride of Christ. Explain to them what mommy and daddy do and what the scripture talks about of spreading the good news of Jesus. Pray for them, and train them up in the way they should go. Your children most of the time, are what they see. Do they see you with a joyful, loving, thankful heart? Do they receive love, grace, and patience from you? Do they see tender, forgiving hearts that lead with strong confidence in humility?
Train them up in the fruit of the spirit. Cover their spirits with scripture. Teach them to pray about everything. Encourage them. Apologize to them when you mess up as a parent. Lead the way in showing them what it means to repent, and to forgive. Express to them their value in Christ. Never forget your family is your number one ministry. Love your children as Christ would. Give a whole lot more patience, and grace. When the time comes to spank and punish, love them through it. Take time to explain to them before why they are in trouble, then give them the love and mercy that follows. Feed their gifts, and encourage them to flourish in who God has created them to be.
Remember, all statistics aside God knew you were the perfect parent to guide them to Jesus, and that they were the perfect kids for you to shepherd and love on. Stop comparing whose yours are to others, drop the expectations, and rely on Jesus every second of every day as a parent. Above all, love.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor