Our husbands' spend a majority of the time focusing and furthering the kingdom of God and building His church. With all that it entails, sometimes every conversation, breath, and thought our husband has seems to be ministry minded. Unfortunately with that, jealousy can get planted somewhere in our hearts as pastors' wives. We get jealous of the bride of Christ and how she has taken and captured our husband's heart from us and our family.
I am not saying your husband is right in being consumed with ministry and church, and I am not saying he is wrong either. I think there is a huge balance that walks a fine line. I also think there are seasons in full time ministry that the church is going to need more attention and work, and there will be seasons your family needs more attention and work. But balance can be tricky, and balance needs boundaries.
Set up a few boundaries in your house to protect the time you need, from the time that is full time ministry. Set aside a day a week that is solely meant to be your day with your husband, no ministry whatsoever. Maybe also have a night a week that is dedicated to your date night with your husband. Pastor's wife you must stop waiting for boundaries and effort to happen and create it.
Give your husband some grace. I know how hard it can be, to feel second, and unloved. But these are lies the enemy whispers in your ears and you believe. You aren't second, you're first. You are loved. Remember, being a pastor and pastor's wife is full time. It is hard for your husband to shut off, kind of like it is hard for you to shut off mom. It is nearly impossible. You will walk in and out of busy seasons, and sometimes we need to give a whole lot of grace through the busy ones. Start setting up and creating boundaries for you and your husband to have for each other.
Remember God called you to this, and where He has called you He has equipped you. Don't wait for boundaries to happen. He has given you all the tools to create, so start creating it.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor