Pastors' wives, to truly survive and thrive in being a pastor's wife you have to take care of yourself. You must stop counting on everyone else to fulfill your needs. "If only my husband would do this." "If only we were attending a church and being fed, rather than constantly serving." "If only we had more money." God has equipped you right where you are, and He desires you to be fully satisfied where you are and with what you have. Not with what people can give you.
The role of a pastor's wife can be very demanding, tiring, and emotionally draining. I can remember a time in our ministry where my husband needed constant encouragement, reassurance, and support. I needed to encourage, when I myself was discouraged. I needed to reassure everything was ok, when I myself didn't believe everything was ok. It was physically and emotionally draining me. I was not getting encouraged or reassured, and I was not taking time to take care of myself.
What does it look like as a pastor's wife to take care of yourself?
First, we must stop living off of yesterdays dreams. We need to constantly be dreaming, growing, and flourishing in who God desires us to be. Yesterdays dreams, are not tomorrows future. We must be fluid and free flowing with the spirit of God. The bible says the Spirit of God is like the wind, you cannot tell where it is coming from or where it is going. We need to be attuned with His Spirit.
Second, stop waiting for your husband to read your mind. I know as a little girl all those chick flicks were like porn to you. So you thought your husband would be Noah from the Notebook, or one of those other dreamy hunks that is a fantastic gift giver. But he isn't. Actually your husband is probably far from it. Remember your husband is the pastor. He has a whole lot on his mind, like leading and shepherding the bride of Christ, and a congregation he will be held accountable for, as well as his family. I am not giving him an excuse not to tend to your needs, as he should be doing before he undertakes a church. But, cut him some slack. Your life isn't a chick flick movie, and he isn't a mind reader. Tell him what you want.
Last, find someone to talk to. I know I said for four years I was going to find a mentor or a best friend I could talk to about what is going on in my life. But I didn't. I was waiting for it to fall out of the sky. And well, it took four years before it fell from the sky. I should have sought after, and found someone sooner. I could have saved myself from believing a lot of lies the enemy whispered in my ears over the years, had I had someone pouring into me. I am not saying God can't bring someone into your life, but sometimes God is standing at the end of the road, and He is asking you to walk five more feet to get where you want to be. But you are just standing there waiting for chance to meet you. Find your confidant, now.
Pastor's wife take care of yourself. Be attuned with Jesus and ever flourishing everyday. Cut your husband some slack and tell him your wants and needs. Find someone to talk to and be encouraged by.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor