A year ago last March, our family didn't have a home for three months. What was suppose to be a weekend stay with friends, turned into a few months of crazy time. We moved our family of four, soon to be five into a newlywed's home with two dogs and a cat. It became mad chaos quicker than later. And within those few months the church finances had hit bottom, we lived thirty minutes outside the city we were suppose to be living in, our marriage had the stress of finances and the church on it, and all the while we were homeless living with a couple who just had a tornado of a family run over their home.
I cried a lot those months, and felt as though my life as I knew it had changed forever. I thought, how could I ever get through this? I felt as though I could talk to no one. My husband (pastor) was equally as stressed, and if he heard my cry and thoughts it would stress him out more. But God, in all His goodness, through my chaos gave me a gift. He gave me a gift of a confidant and true friend.
I have never in my life had one of these, and she was a blessing in disguise. After all, she lived ten hours away and little did I know, true friendship knows no boundaries. She wasn't a pastor's wife, but her and her husband's roles in ministry were similar to ours, and God knew just how I needed her in my life. That year I needed her more than she needed me. I cried, vented, yelled, and got my feelings out more than I can count. I could finally let go everything going on in my life and not feel judged, or have someone tell me things I didn't want to hear. God truly used her to be sensitive to all that I needed. She listened, prayed for me, understood, related to me, and continually pointed me to Jesus.
God knew exactly what I needed then, just as He does now. It has been nearly five weeks of this season of rest God has called us to, and I am thanking God everyday for a confidant. Someone who is "for me" and my family. Someone who somehow every conversation and bit of life I can be real with and always center it around Jesus, has been amazing. Everyone needs it. I heard T.D. Jakes once say, "Count yourself blessed if you find one or two confidants in a lifetime." They are rare, and it is a blessing when you find one. As pastors' wives, we need one! God can use them and they can be so vital to our ministry. We often feel lonely in this ministry, and don't have many or any to talk to. But God is so good, and knows exactly what we need when we need it.
Pastor's wife, if you do not have your confidant yet, I am praying for you. I pray you find your confidant in Jesus, and wait patiently for your confidant here on earth. I pray it doesn't have to be a hard circumstance for God to bring you two together, but often God does use the mad chaos to mend us together. So I am praying you are ready for whatever is to come, and I pray while you patiently wait, He creates the confidant in you for someone else.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor