One thing we all find ourselves desiring is someone to talk to. Someone to relate to, understand, and have just the right words of encouragement to speak to us directly where we are at.
I was recently talking with an older man that attends our church. He attends AA Meetings (Alcohols Anonymous) on a regular basis. He was telling me how no one understands an alcoholic and what he/she has been through and struggles with, other than another alcoholic. He went on to say, same goes for an alcoholic's wife/husband. No one understands what the husband/wife of an alcoholic has been through other than another alcoholic's husband/wife. I immediately thought of, I Sleep With The Pastor.
We pastors' wives feel the same way. Our friends within the church, or even outside the church will never understand the demands, struggles, and experiences we face and probably never will until they walk through our shoes as a wife of a pastor.
This past year in 2013 was one of my hardest years in ministry. The waves kept coming in every area of our family's life and we were in a constant arms stretched mode for Jesus' rescue. I have a friend in Texas who almost lives a similar role. Her husband, is a Young Life Director, and he speaks in front of many people on a weekly basis about ministry. God used her to speak into my life in many areas. On the days I needed it most, I would receive a text from her asking how I was doing. I had her to relate to, and speak encouragement into my life. I could vent my frustrations, I could get real honest and get down to the nitty gritty details about what I was struggling with in life. She wouldn't just encourage me. She related to me, encouraged me, and prayed for me.
Let me just tell you, when you have a person you can be real with and they don't change their outlook on you for the "real" you, a sudden weight of life is lifted off your shoulders. To know someone else has been through what you have been through, and they can speak hope into your life is detrimental. We all need hope, and the truths of Jesus spoken into us.
We should never get into a state where we feel alone, like there is no one to talk to. When we find ourselves here, right around the corner is bitterness, burnt out, and giving up. I encourage you ladies, to find someone. Sometimes its easier for that woman to be miles away, that you can email, text, or call on the phone. Find a woman/pastor's wife who is in a similar season as you, or an older pastor's wife who has walked through a lot of what you have walked through. Be real, and honest about how you feel. Make sure it is the right person. Maybe you find someone, and they aren't the one who will relate, encourage, and pray for you. You need all three. So don't give up, look and find a new person to be just what you need.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone, two will withstand him-a threefold strand is not quickly broken.
Find a friend who walks through what you walk through. In my life, it is always the same gender. There are boundaries we need to set for our marriages so the devil has no room to creep in. Also don't talk negatively about your husband to another person. I understand if you are struggling in your marriage, but we are all sinners married to sinners. Talk positively about your spouse and what you are struggling with in this season you are walking through. Last, Jesus is ultimatly our healer, restorer, and redeemer. Seek Jesus' face, and hide your flesh behind the cross daily. He can touch you right now wherever you are at, and breathe life into what you are going through.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor
If you don't have someone to encourage and speak Jesus' truths over your life, please feel free to email firstname.lastname@example.org anytime and have a safe place to talk to someone. This is a private, safe area where you can get encouraging feedback and prayers. Also, the Facebook- I Sleep With The Pastor group, is a place to post and interact with other pastors' wives who are walking in the same shoes you are.