I think we have almost hit a new era of pastors' wives. Pastor's wives are no longer walking down the church aisle in knee length skirts, a white rouffled blouse, panty hose, and black heels. Oh no, we are no longer the church pianist. Don't ask us to sing the church special. Oh and please don't expect us to walk in on a certain cue every Sunday after everyone has sat down. We have outlawed this cookie cutter mold.
We are women of all shapes and sizes, colors, personalities, talents, gifts, and callings. We are a group of women that no longer want to be defined by congregational expectations. Just as every church looks different, so will the pastor's wife. However, stereotypes are real, just ask any pastor's wife what she thought a pastor's wife would look like before she was ever a pw.
If you would have asked me I would have said this. She would be outgoing. She would have the sweetest spirit about her, always smiling. She would have countless friends. She would be the perfect Proverbs 31 woman. She would never say no to anyone. She would be so strong. Never get tired. burnt out, mad, or frustrated. She would serve in lots of areas at church, and attend every church gathering. She would never have conflict, or troubles. She would be the perfect pastor's wife.
Did I describe any of you? I definately didn't cut the description. I am an introvert. Sometimes I don't smile. I don't have countless friends. Believe it or not, I can't always live up to the P31 woman. I have said no, plenty of times. I get tired and need rest, sometimes burn myself out, get mad, and frustrated. I have served in lots of areas some seasons, and some seasons I have served in none. I have missed some church gatherings. There has been conflict, and troubles. I am totally not the perfect pastor's wife.
I guess what I am trying to say is this. Yes, people have expectations on the pastor's wife. But, so do pastors' wives. We place so many expectations on ourselves and each other it isn't even funny. We hear of a pastor's wife acting, dressing, or handling a situation like that and we ridicule her. We judge. As if it makes us feel a little better about how less than perfect we are. We are all different. I may not smile sometimes. I may wear jeans to church, and don't work the crowd and say hello to everyone. I am not the pastor's wife from the other church you visited, and that is ok.
God knew what He was doing, and made no mistake in the women he chose as pastors' wives. He chose, gave, and equipped us exactly where each of us are. We aren't perfect, we make mistakes, and we are different. Embrace each other, and drop the expectations that can creep in against one another.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor