There was a season in ministry I felt like my husband was married to the pulpit. I am sure some of you if not all have at some point felt second to the church. All he ever talks about is church, we are ministry partners more than we are husband and wife, need I go on? These thoughts can lead to destruction in the heart of a pastor's wife.
With everything, we must have balance and boundaries. Leading a church is your husband's calling, and his joy. Of course it would be easy to get consumed by it. When you lead a church you start living and breathing church. Unfortunately, when we get things out of balance it can leave the spouse feeling neglected, hurt, and unimportant. Let me tell you one thing now pastors, wives never ever need to feel second to the church. Here's why.
The moment the pastor's wife starts feeling second to the church, a seed of bitterness is planted in her heart against the bride of Christ. YIKES!! Husbands, pastors, trust me. You don't want her bitter towards the bride of Christ, because not only is it the bride of Christ, it is your joy and calling. If she becomes bitter towards it because you can't balance it, this will not only push you two further apart, leading the church will start to burden you.
Second, if one thing is out of balance, all things are out of balance. If the church is consuming you, then I dare say Jesus is no longer center. Jesus' church was never meant to be your bride. He put you in this position to lead, love, and shepherd His people. Remember your purpose, and keep Him center. Your first responsibility is to love and lead your house before the church. If you are failing at leading your house, then you are no longer equipped to lead the church.
Last, the wife is the pastor's helper. His other half. His love. His side-kick. He is one with her. She needs her husband to love and fill her tank. Just as he needs her love and fueling his tank. If she has any of these thoughts or feelings, something isn't right. Somehow she isn't feeling loved, supported, encouraged, and embraced.
Pastor and pastor's wife, pray for each other. Love each other well. And rest together. You need days that are set apart resting from anything "church" to be with each other. Be present. Keep Jesus center, and balance life well. And please, keep your front doors shut and locked. If you leave your life open to the enemy, he will come in to steal, kill, and destroy your house and your ministry.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor