In this short season of rest from full-time ministry I have been able to see from another seat. We so quickly forget what it feels like to be a church member with no title. But, here are the few short things I have come to remember, and be made aware of as a church member viewing the church and pastor's wife.
1. Pastor's wife, we church members value you and the pastor way more than you know.
Maybe it isn't fair to you, that we place you in such a high regard. But the bible does say in Hebrews 13:17, Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you. We value you and what you say. You inspire us. Not because you are some famous character, but because we know that God has placed you in this role.
2. We view you in a fish bowl.
I know it, it's crazy. As a pastor's wife I didn't understand it. But now as a church member, I get it. Think about it. Who wants to see their pastor or pastor's wife drop a curse word in a joke, mess up, sin, get angry, or get burnt out. The church views you as someone they submit to, and value. They believe in you and the call God has placed on your life, and trust you to lead them. When the pastor or the pastor's wife mess up, it is huge to them. Sure, the church shouldn't place unrealistic expectations on the pastor and his family. However, maybe the pastor and his family should be more up front and honest that they mess up. So when the time comes, people don't come off their rockers.
3. We want to see the pastor's wife with her husband.
We not only look to you to lead us as a pastor and pastor's wife, we look at your marriage too. We want to see you two a team on Sundays. Seeing you together makes us know that you both believe in what you are doing. That you are together in this. When you attend a wedding, and the bride walks down the aisle, you look at the husbands face too. Well it is sort of similar on a Sunday morning. When the pastor is preaching, believe it or not, people look at the pastor's wife's face. We look for verification. Does the pastor's wife believe in what her husband is saying?
4. We want to be greeted and remembered.
Coming from someone who is naturally introverted, I still want to be greeted when I arrive at church. This should be one of the most vital volunteer roles on a Sunday. These people are the first people seen and heard at church. They set the tone for the entire morning. Greeters need to be on top of their game when it comes to greeting. I also like to be remembered. No one wants to be asked if this is their first time, when this is their third or fourth time coming. This makes you feel like you aren't a part. Churches need things strategically marking new people to make it known, that way others won't be confused as newbies.
5. We want to be a part of the team.
I have witnessed where there is miscommunication between the pastor and the church. He shows up and announces all these new plans, or what not happening at the church, and the people are as confused as ever. People want to be a part, and be in the know. They don't want to hear new things only on Sundays but throughout the week too. They want to be a part, and get connected somewhere fast. People who get connected and become a part of the community the church has created, those people stay.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor