Tennessee presents the best seasons year round. Autumn is one of my favorites. This year, I have the desire to watch the leaves carefully. I want to notice the leaves on trees changing before they have fully transformed. I want to recognize the start of it, before they put on their usual show of colorful beauty we all stop and stare at in wonder.
Yesterday afternoon, I was laying down at the park while my kids played, and my husband read a book aloud. What I noticed was this. I was floored by the beautiful array of clouds. However, I got distracted for a few seconds, and when I looked back up all the clouds were gone. They had moved on to a different part of the sky, and the view I had been amazed by was completely wiped away.
Like the trees in fall, and the sky changing seconds later, our life and the seasons we are in can be a bit like that. So often over the past five years, I look back at different seasons we were in and think how much I enjoyed it and miss it. But in that season, I don't remember enjoying it, or thinking I would miss it. I forgot to enjoy the season. I forgot to smell the beautiful hardwood floor in that house, or notice the leaves changing before the change, or embrace my seven month old and how he loved to sleep in until 10am.
We look at the red, yellow, and orange trees and wonder how they got to that point. We look back up at the beautiful sky and wonder how it changed so quickly. We so often look back at our life and wonder how we missed the beauty in it. We got to this point in our life, and don't realize how we got here, because we didn't embrace the change.
Let me tell you this. The trees are ugly during this transition. They are no longer the beautiful green from spring and summer. They are more of a dark burnt green, and a couple leaves are another color. This transition period isn't the most amazing transformation I have ever witnessed. But what I do know is this, the trees are going to look so beautiful, that even though I watched the transformation I will still stand in wonder at them. I know this, because I have seen them every Fall and they still amaze me.
With life, I want to start embracing the seasons I am in. Ugly transition and all, because I don't want to look back anymore and wonder how I got here. I don't want to look back at seasons and say wow I really miss that, but know in that season I didn't enjoy it. I want to embrace the transformation in the seasons, because in the end it isn't really the beautiful trees that matter, or the season you look back on, what matter's most important today is what is right in front of you right now.
Pastor's wife, life in ministry can get tough. But years from now, you will miss it. You always hear the newlywed stories, of how the couple was so poor and they were eating pinto beans, and dollar menu sandwiches for their first year of marriage. What they say you never expect them to say, is this. Boy, we were poor but I miss it, it was a fun season. Or the old empty nesters that say, enjoy your toddlers and their craziness, it went by too fast and we miss it.
We have to stop looking back and missing seasons we forgot to enjoy. And we need to stop wishing for the beautiful trees in our life, before the transformation. Enjoy and embrace everything in your life. Embrace that ministry can get tough. Embrace finances can be a stress. Embrace rough seasons. Embrace days you and your spouse are in a disagreement. Embrace the crazy. But through all your embracing, enjoy all the beauty in it. There is beauty in everything. Choose to see it.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor