When I said yes to plant a church.
I had been dating my husband-to-be for approximately eleven months when he asked me to marry him. Rewind to those eleven months. He was a college pastor of a church in our hometown. We both knew we wanted to get married, however I knew he was leaving the following August to move to Nashville to plant a church. A movement of love God placed in his heart two years prior. A lot of dreaming that year he was doing, pouring out his heart to me of what God was planting in Nashville.
Good Friday, April 10 2009 arrived. Did I mention it's my birthday? That week I had given up my expectation of getting married, because in my mind it was too late to plan a wedding by August. I laid down my wants, for Jesus' plans and trusted He knew what He was doing. That day we drove to Atlanta for Passion City's Good Friday service where Chris Tomlin lead us in worship, and Louii Giglio casted vision for what God was doing in Atlanta and how Passion City Church was being birthed. After the show was over, Jim got down on one knee.
I will never forget the words he said. "God is calling me to move to Nashville to plant a church. I love you my dear sister, my best friend, my love, and I don't want to do this without you. I want you to come with me. Will you marry me?" Well happy birthday to me! Am I right?
Yes, the moment I said yes to marriage, was the moment I said yes to plant a church. I wish I could tell you I took a bunch of pastor's wife 101 classes but I didn't. I had one book, "My husband wants to be a church planter….but what will that make me? I wish I could say reading it prepared me, but it didn't. Sure there were a lot of pastors' wives telling their stories. But to truly learn, and grow as a pastor's wife isn't going to come through a book. I didn't understand what I was reading. Nor did I want any of what a pastor's wife was going through to be me. I was going to be the exception.
I have had a lot of young women and some older, that feel the call to be a pastor's wife, contact me through here. It is always the same question. Do you have any advice for me? Advice is a funny thing you see. Not all pastors' wives have the same story, yet they all relate and understand each other because they are a pastor's wife. It is hard to explain. But advice is going to be different from pastor's wife to pastor's wife. Walk as a pastor's wife for a while and you will grow as a pastor's wife. The best advice I have is this.
Don't try to replicate anyone else. Don't feel the pressure to do everything. Say no when you feel like it. Don't let the expectations from you, or others affect who God is wanting to create in you. Flourish exactly where you are, and walk in confidence and humility knowing you are the perfect choice to walk along side your husband, and this is exactly where God wants you to be. Realize you are unequipped for the job and be authentic. But also realize God will and has equipped you where He has called you. Shake off the nasty stuff that will hit you. You are a huge target, so suit up EVERY single day for battle. Fight for your marriage, fight to protect your house, fight to protect the church, and love recklessly! Remember who you are.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor