Lately, I have heard many stories of pastors' wives unhappy in their marriages. Their husband, the pastor just isn't putting in the effort, or living what he preaches. The pastors' wives are feeling burnt out, bitter, and lonely. You all act so surprised when your marriages look the way they do. "I never expected it to look this way." "Why, why can't he do this?"
Women of God, take a deep breath and take a look around at your life. You are the daughter of the king, you are loved and adored by the father. You married your husband, who is the son of a king, that is adored and loved by the father. You and your husband felt called to ministry, pastoring a church. Whether you went into this thinking it was going to be a cake walk or not, obviously somewhere down the line you let expectations overthrow grace. Marriage is hard, pastoring a church is hard, being a friend is hard, being a mom is hard. Wake up call, life is hard, and God never promised an easy one.
This life you are called to, isn't for the faint of heart. God called strong women and men of God to be steadfast, immovable, and unshakable in their marriages, as parents, as friends, and as pastors leading a church. If you are a wave tossing in the ocean these days, you need to take a few steps back, get on your face before Jesus and seek His strength in your life again. You can't hold it together, you were never meant to. But what you were meant to do, was to die to your flesh, and seek an ever changing ever growing, learning relationship with Christ. Love your neighbor (husband) unconditionally. And with Christ, help prepare the bride (church) for the groom (Christ.)
Stop acting surprised the enemy is attacking. We are not fighting flesh and blood but there is a spiritual war raging to knock every person, pastor's wife, and pastor out of the good fight. You are one of the biggest targets the enemy is after. If you can't handle the battle, get out now!! This life you have been called to will not be easy. There are constant seasons of change and growth. And with that comes a lot of hard days, and a lot of good days too.
I know what you're thinking…I don't see how this can get better. You need to drop the expectations, and without a doubt set boundaries in your life. Set up boundaries to protect your heart, marriage, and ministry. Seek out, and get mentors that speak into both you and your husband's life. Accountability is imperative to us regardless if we are pastoring a church or not. But it is even more vital to us leading a church.
You were and are the perfect choice God chose to be married to your spouse, and the perfect one to be pastoring a church along side your husband. You have just been confused and have lost sight of the purpose from too many arrows the enemy has shot your way. God has equipped your right where He has called you. You are overqualified for the job through Christ. Stop complaining about how your marriages are falling apart, and get up and fight for your lives and marriages again. Get back on your face in prayer. Drop the expectations and cover your life in grace. Make the effort it takes to protect your life, marriage, and ministry. It isn't going to be easy.
Pastor's wife don't be caught by surprise anymore, the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Get up everyday prepared, and ready for battle.
xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor