I have discovered a lot about the mom God created me to be this second go round.
When I found out I was pregnant with my first son (Justus) I like others started dreaming about the mom I desired to be and not to be. Soaking in any advice and watching closely other mothers I admired, I found myself making a list of who I would be as a Mother. As soon as Justus came I was ready!
Applying what I liked in other mothers to my way of mothering, soon enough I realized, hey my child is a lot more outgoing and much louder than their mellow, quiet children in Church. How is this, I am doing what I thought, was the same way they did with their kids? I sleep with my child in bed, I know a handful of mothers who do, so why does everyone else have a negative opinion about that? My child is old enough to be told "no" now, why do I get dirty looks from the new mothers that do not yet realize they someday will have to discipline too? I do cloth diapers, and give organic healthy food, and definitely stick to the mothering handbook. So what am I suppose to do differently? The first year of mothering was very much a time of self discovery of who I desired to be as a mother.
Then, my second arrived (Wonder.) What I realized this time is, I did not change anything really. I sleep with this baby too, and I love it. I don't like when my babies cry. I am a comforter. Also, I may or may not hold my babies too much. I may or may not be stingy when it comes to letting others hold my babies, but not for any reason other than I love them so much, I just cant share sometimes! I am the mother who tells her toddler "no" at times, and has to discipline him sometimes when he doesn't listen. I am a little OCD when it comes to germs. I do make healthy meals for my family, and sometimes am lazy and settle with a box of organic Annie's mac and cheese. That is the mother I am.
I have discovered something pretty profound in my life. I cant mother my children like someone else does. Why? Because, God chose me for my children, and my children for me. He chose you other mothers for your children, because he saw you best fit. The way I mother, may not be the way you mother, and that is just fine. Just because I do things differently doesn't serve me the stamp of "Mother Failure." I am doing the best I see fit out of love for my children, and that is just fine. I am confident in who I am as a Mother.
I have always wanted to be a mom, and I have finally been blessed with what I am called to be. I love every second of it and look forward to what is to come. Every bit of my mothering is out of love, and I am so honored God chose me to mother these little guys who I get to help shape and form into great Men of God.
I pray you other Mothers are confident in the mother God has created and is shaping you to be, and that you have an abundant amount of grace and love for your children like our Heavenly Father has so graciously lavished us with.
with love, another mother on a humbling journey to love God and her Children