Who Needs Wisdom, When I Already Know Everything

I wrote a few years back about how I didn't have a mentor as a pastor's wife, and how much I needed it. That I didn't seek one out, because at the time I didn't think I needed one. You can read that blog here.  & if I am honest, I use to believe if you need a mentor you are weak. Mentors are for people that don't know anything. Ohh how misguided, and untrue that is. Let me tell you, whether you are a pastor's wife or not. Whether you think you need one or not. You always need one. 

Proverbs 4:6-7

 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.  The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

I have told you before in, Always Grow. That the moment we stop growing is the moment we start dying. We should aways be in a season of growth. Even if it isn't evident to us, or right in front of us. There are always areas God wants to improve in our walk with Him. He has seasons he wants to take us through, and He is refining us and preparing us for each one. 

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You will never believe what happened. The past few weeks I have been talking to Jim about how I want a mentor. Someone who can speak hard truths, encourage, pray, and listen to me. I have a burning in me like never before, to grow in a lot of areas in my life. Personally, spiritually in my walk with Jesus, emotionally, in my marriage, as a mom, as a friend, pastor's wife, etc. I know that I am flawed, and that Jesus has so much more for me. I can't do this life alone, and I recognize that. 

Fast forward to this last Tuesday. I was at my new to me weekly Moms-N-More group I just joined for the fall a week prior. It is a really cool concept for mothers. They break you up in groups based on how old your oldest child is. That way you are relating to women walking through similar seasons in life with you. You have a leader, co leader, and coach in the group who lead and ask questions and counter it with scripture and what God says about parenting and loving our children. You should find something like this in your city, or start one, I highly recommend. 

A few of the coaches were introducing themselves in the large group, and it got to the final lady. She started off with something like this, "I am not perfect, far from it. I mess up, I make mistakes. But, I have a Savior who loves me, and washes over all of it." While she was talking I felt the Lord tell me, you need to ask her to coffee. Unfortunately, I never ran into her again during Moms-N-More. We split off to groups, and with the hustle and bustle of picking up kids, I walked to my car promising myself I would ask her next week when I saw her again. 

Buckling up my two year old, I see her. This is just coincidence I might add. Because the last two weeks I haven't ran into a single girl from my class in the parking lot, or my friend I know from church. I walk over and introduce myself, and tell her what I felt inside when she was talking and that I wanted to go to coffee. She said she would love to...yada yada yada. You know, I cried the entire way home. Guess what we have in common? We have a lot in common and I will get to that below, but she has church planted before. God could not have blessed me with someone who could relate to me more. 

I met with her Friday. We shared stories, and my desire for a mentor and what that looks like. God is so faithful and gracious. I am telling you. He heard my cry over the past few weeks. He has given me such a wonderful gift. I wasn't looking for an older wiser friend. Yes, she will be that to me. But, first and foremost she is going to be a truth teller in my life, she is going to keep me accountable, she is going to tell me things I don't want to hear, and encourage me through it. She is someone I can be vulnerable with, and feel safe with. Someone who is committed to me, & desires to see me grow and flourish. 

Want to know just how good our Savior is? He didn't have to give me someone who could relate to me on a lot of levels. BUT HE DID. Let me tell you just how much we have in common... church planter's wife, homeschool mom, has lots of kids like me, has a similarity from her home she grew up in, has walked through some things in her marriage, there are too many to count. 

So again, I cried the entire way home after our meeting, just overjoyed (& partly because I am on my girl-time) by such an incredible gift. The pre-leaves to fall have started to fall here in the last couple of days. The leaves were blowing across the road, the air felt crisp, and I just felt overwhelmed by how much Jesus loves me. I am so excited and thankful for the season God is about to walk me through. There is going to be so much fruit from this, and I look forward to every bit of it with an expectant heart. 


Pastor's wife, friend, sister seek out wisdom. Search for understanding. Have an older wiser person in your life who is going to speak truth, encouragement, hold you accountable, and pray for you and with you. It is so helpful to have someone who is on the outside that can look at your life from an outer perspective to give you good sound advice. I was telling someone recently. It is like if you are chopping a tree down and all you have is a saw. But, someone comes along side of you that knows how to cut a tree, who has the tools to do so. Wouldn't you rather have the correct tools you need for the task to be efficient? That is what a mentor is like. She is your confidante, your safe place, someone who will help point you to Jesus and peel back those layers.

You can do it! God has big plans for you, & He has people to help you in every season if you would  just reach out and grasp. 

xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor

Thoughts I Wrestle!

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I want to be real and honest with you ladies. I have always strived to do that here. But there is one area I haven't been, that I want to be up front on because a lot of you have reached out. Loads of encouragement, and questions about when I will be back to blogging daily again. 

After two years of consistently writing every day from my heart, I took a little break back in fall 2015. It wasn't intentional, but I think it was the Lord's way of saying its time to rest a bit and focus on the move we were about to make to church plant again. And, frankly I felt like I had ran out of things to say. I wasn't in the grime of things anymore. We weren't in the heat of ministry, we were nearing the end of our two year period of rest from ministry we were on. 

I struggled with it. I wanted things to say. I wanted the Lord to be teaching me something, so I could share it with you. So I tossed with the idea of writing devotionals to you. But that didn't feel true to what I always wrote. I'm not really a devotional type writer, even though I wish I was. I feel at home writing to you about the grime, struggles, and mistakes I have made in church planting as the pastor's wife. So, I rested in knowing I would be able to pick it back up again come fall 2016, once we were on the ground church planting again in our new city. 

But, August rolled around, winter came, spring and then summer 2017. Here we are a year later, and though I may have had a few blogs here and there along the way, it hasn't been consistent. I would lie to you if I said I don't miss writing. I would lie to you if I said I don't miss messing up, so I can grow and then ultimately help one of you who may be going through the same thing. But I would also lie to you if I said I miss the after effects of the nitty gritty, ugly, and shots fired at me the enemy likes to fire. 

We so often admire and desire the amazing words people have to offer to our storm. But don't realize the crazy storm they had to endure themselves beforehand that got them to the place where they can stand. A lot of my stories I use to write on the daily came out of storms and vulnerable places in my heart that God was exposing and using not only to help you but to heal me. If you want to know where my heart and head has been the last year as a 2nd round church planter's wife in her first year again, let me share with you.

Some of these thoughts I have wrestled with because, should a pastor's wife really struggle with these thoughts...should a christian? What will people think? 

Thought 1: We all know those people who just have the spirit of God so tangible in their lives. Every time you are around them you can sense it, and feel it, and you leave them just feeling so encouraged and blessed to be able to sit in their presense? What is it? Why are they different from me, or from other people who do life in ministry. Shouldn't pastors, leadership, and people who spend their lives furthering His kingdom have that same thing? I want it, I want people to leave me feeling what I feel (we feel) around those rare few people we can all name. 

Thought 2: If Christ calls us to die to ourselves. Doesn't that mean ourselves in our entirety? A lot of my natural tendencies/characteristics/personality traits people don't always feel loved by. & if I am called to be Christ-like and love my neighbor. I want people to leave me feeling unbelievably loved and cherished by Jesus working through me. 

I have been wrestling with those this past year. Asking myself hard questions. Really digging deep and soul searching. I know who God has called me to be and all the different blessings and gifts he has given me to steward. But, I want to ask myself daily and weekly two questions.

1. Who do I want to be.

2. Who do I want people to say that I am. 

This isn't a question about feeling insecure, or coming from a place of feeling unhappy with who I am. But I want my life to count for something, and I want two things. To love Jesus with everything that I am, and live out of the overflow of that (ultimately dying to myself.) And, I want to LOVE people so well, that they experience Jesus with every encounter I make. (You can read more about this idea in my previous post, The Mayor's Wife)

Thank you so much for reaching out. You are heard. You are valued, and loved. I appreciate your sweet words of encouragement. I appreciate you being patient and sticking with me through my loud seasons and my QUIET ones too. If you could join me in praying for me. I would love to get back in the groove of writing again. I have been asking my life group girls to be praying for me to start finding an outlet to fill up my tank, and I know this is where it is at. I just feel all sorts of mixed emotions jumping back in the groove of it again. But, mostly excited.

xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor